Slash and Bern: Guns N’ Roses fans on Coachella, Sanders and banana shirts

For many the appearance of GNR was the highlight of the California festival but OJ Simpson and a certain Vermont senator also had their fans

Guns N Roses headlined on Saturday night at the Coachella music festival in Indio, California, to the delight of many.

Of course, this being a gigantic music festival intended to have something for everyone, there were just as many people disappointed by what they witnessed: an injured Axl Rose looking constipated on what looked like a giant electronic toilet. Maybe it only looked like that to me because my brain was fried from constant exposure to the sun and too much lager.

Even if I, and quite a few of my fellow festivalgoers, werent satisfied by the long-awaited reunion of Axl, Slash and Duff McKagan, there were plenty of folks who were. Before their performance, I went in search of the men and women who braved overpriced tickets, overpriced beer, overpriced food, overpriced parking, and vomit-inducing toilet odors to experience a small piece of rocknroll history.

Darryl, 39, and Lloyd, 33, from Chicago. Photograph: Dave Schilling

Darryl, 39, and Lloyd, 33, had come from Chicago to see GNR. Even though they only cared about one band, they had to pay for all three days. Fortunately they made the trip worth it, as Darryl dressed as Axl and Lloyd dressed as Anchorman director Adam McKay in a top hat. Darryl and Lloyd said they attended the Chinese Democracy tour, the ill-fated attempt by Axl to use the Guns N Roses name in conjunction with a brand-new lineup which included Buckethead a man who plays guitar while wearing a bucket on his head.

It was good, but it wasnt the same, they said. And what of Buckethead? Will he be missed at Coachella? Hes awesome. He wears a bucket of KFC on his head. What else is there to say?


Jasmine, 24, and Juan. Photograph: Dave Schilling

Jasmine, 24, and Juan drove down from the Bay Area and staked out a spot close to the stage early in the afternoon. By afternoon I mean a solid 10 hours before Guns N Roses were scheduled to play. Their plan was to switch off going to the bathroom, getting drinks, and procuring food. We dont care, we wanna see them, Juan said of the half a days worth of sitting in the desert.

The trip to Coachella was a gift from Jasmine, so they wanted to get their moneys worth. I was gonna go to Vegas, and she was like, Dont go, I got a surprise for you.

Matt, 28, and Kaitlyn, 25, from Perth, Australia. Photograph: Dave Schilling

Matt, 28, and Kaitlyn, 25 were from Perth, Australia. Theyve been living in Vancouver for the last six months and lucked into tickets thanks to a friend who couldnt attend. So, at the last minute, they drove from Canada to Indio, which takes about three days by their estimation.

Since their presence at the festival was a bit of happenstance, who are they there to see?

So, Im more electronic. Id like to see Ice Cube as well, Matt said.

For Kaitlyn, My No1 is Chvrches. Hallsey as well. And Ice Cube tonight.

What about Guns N Roses? Not personally, no. Its a bit out of our age bracket.

Curtis, Kenji, Wesley and Brian. Photograph: Dave Schilling

I stumbled upon a pack of proper dudes from Orange County, California Curtis, Kenji, Wesley and Brian all wearing shirts with banana prints on them. Needless to say, I had to stop and ask them the meaning of life. They looked like they had some answers.

Curtis, Kenji and Brian were all thrilled to be there for Guns N Roses. Wesley, the clear black sheep of the crew, dissented. He was all in for Elle Goulding on Friday, which drew hearty jeers from his fellow bros.

They dont appeal to me as a person, musically, Wesley said of GNR. Theres plenty of rocknroll artists from that era that are better.

The subject of Axls injury came up, which led to a discussion of Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, who suffered a similar injury. That really set Wesley off.

Dave Grohl is like twice the rocker, dude. Hes the only person alive who makes legit rocknroll. That guys got so much energy. Hes off the charts, man.

In order to soothe the savage bro beast, I changed the subject. Whats with the bananas, guys?

We love bananas. We wanted to have a matching set. We know how alluring it is, Kenji told me. I turned to a couple of women sitting on the same park bench. I asked Sammy, 30, from Houston if she was talking to these dudes because of their shirts. Yeah. They drew us in from their banana shirts.

Lesson for future festival attendees: never underestimate the power of the banana shirt.

Sarah, 22, Rachel, 21, and Aaron, 24. Photograph: Dave Schilling

In the same beer garden, I spotted a girl carrying a Bernie Sanders sign a giant Bernie head, to be exact. Sarah, 22, Rachel, 21, and Aaron, 24 are siblings from Oak Park, California, in the San Fernando Valley. Coachella is something of a tradition for them. Its Aarons seventh year at the festival and Sarahs fifth. This year, they brought along their friend, Savannah, 22.

Who were they most excited to see? Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. And Guns N Roses? Did they care?

Id say youd be crazy not to be. That era of music is insane, though. One of the best time periods for music. The vibe the music gives people brings people together, Sarah said.

What possessed Sarah to bring a Bernie Sanders sign to a music festival?

This is an informal form of propaganda. Im an avid Bernie supporter. I think hes someone you can believe in, someone you can trust. Hillary Clinton contradicts herself a lot. Her stance on gay marriage changed a lot in the last few years, and I think thats terrifying, the thought of our president being someone so blatantly dishonest.

Before I left, I had to ask which is a better festival experience, Coachella or a Bernie rally. Sarah didnt hesitate. Coachellas got nothing on Bernie, but I think the crowd is pretty similar. A lot of dirty hippies.

Gio, 35, David, 30, Alex, 39. Photograph: Dave Schilling

Slash cosplay was not uncommon. Besides my new friends from Chicago earlier in the day, I met Gio, 35, from Los Angeles. His costume might not have been as elaborate as Lloyds, but it was certainly heartfelt.

Gio was sitting with his friends David, 30, and Alex, 39. Theyve all been fans since they were teenagers. Alex, being the oldest, has the most vivid memories of the band, though hes never experienced anything close to the classic lineup.

Ive seen Slash before, but not the whole group. He sucks by himself. Its the chemistry [thats missing].

But this isnt even the true classic lineup, as Izzy Stradlin, the guitarist, is still holding out.

I really think thats gonna be a big issue. I think Izzy was the most underrated part of the band. Hes gonna be missed. I know hes not gonna be there, but I wish he was.

As the hours ticked away, I began to wonder when all these superfans would make their way to the main stage. Would Gio, David, and Alex be grabbing spots like Jasmine and Juan? Theyd be staying put.

Were big guys. We push everybody out, Gio said.

Michelle, 47, Kevin, 50, Logan, 15. Photograph: Dave Schilling

A family from Indio Michelle, 47, Kevin, 50, Logan, 15 entered the festival. I never went to a music festival with my father growing up, but I cant say Id be totally stoked if he showed up with his shirt off. Granted, my father wasnt totally ripped like Kevin. I asked Logan if he was excited for Guns N Roses.

I like rocknroll, but I mainly just listen to EDM.

Are his parents trying to get him into GNR?

I try. He listens to it indirectly.

Before walking off, Michelle stops me to jump into what sounds like a paid advertisement from festival producer, Goldenvoice.

This is the best music festival ever. They do it all right. Ive been here for 10 years, and its better every year. They provide so many great amenities here.

If only they provided flushable toilets. Maybe thatll be next year.



He Took Apart Old Skis And Transformed Them Into This Backyard Must-Have

Does anyone else find it incredibly hard to relax during the summer months?

When it comes to summertime, relaxation is usually the last thing on my mind. The unbearable heat makes it nearly impossible to get comfortable enough to even toy with the idea of taking an afternoon siesta.

In times of insufferable heat, try imagining that you’re in a much colder place. Apparently, just thinking about being in a cooler climate can trick your brain into believing that you’re not melting. I’ve never had the mental stamina to get this to actually work, but I think Redditor yourheynis is on the right track.

He collected some skis and repurposed them into an awesome, summer-ready porch swing that will transport you to wherever your imagination would like to go.

Redditor yourheynis began his porch swing by collecting used pairs of skis that he found at thrift stores and yard sales.

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Using a variety of techniques, he removed the bindings from all of the skis.

He then laid them out until he had the desired size and pattern he wanted for his swing.

Even though he’d never created something like this before, he managed to build a sturdy frame.

With his angle cutter in hand, he removed 20 inches from each ski to create a uniform edge.

He then assembled and attached the skis to the seat.

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Next he measured and cut the skis again to create the back portion of the swing.

With a beer at the ready, he sanded down the metal edges. Safety first!

Two coats of gloss later, the skis looked brand new!

Our builder went through quite a few drill bits, but countersink holes were eventually added.

He then used two-by-six boards to serve as back supports for the frame.

Next up was hardware.

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Using scrap pieces, he created arm rests.

He found time for another beer before attaching brackets to the arms for extra support.

He then screwed the arms down.

After that, the holes for each chain were added.

Our builder cut off and sanded down the exposed screws to ensure that no one would get hurt.

Using a 20-foot chain, he created a loop and hung it from the underside of his deck.

The swing and chain then became one.

After attaching everything and making sure it was stable, the swing was ready to help this do-it-yourselfer and his friends get some much-needed rest and relaxation.

Who knew summer and winter could collide in such an awesome way? If you need me, I’ll be busting out my old skis.


A Christmas tree made out of beer cans? Only in Australia, surely

Beer, wonderful beer.
Image: facebook/7newsperth

The holidays in Australia is scorching hot. Instead of eggnog and mulled wine, Australians are usually punching cans of cold beer.

It’s no wonder why Wes Boyd from Perth has built a giant Christmas tree made of 2536 cans of Victoria Bitter or VB.

Measuring 4.4 metres (14.4 feet) high, it’s less a tree and more an almighty tribute to the beverage.

“I wanted to build it to make people happy,” Boyd told PerthNow.

“Me and some mates love drinking VBs, and two to three mates have been bringing empty cans over here every week for the past 14 months.”

Boyd built the impressive tree, which also lights up at night, with the help of said mates.

While it might seem a pretty whimsical celebration of beer, the tree is also dedicated to a good cause.

It’s helping to raise money for charity Alzheimer’s Australia, with Boyd collecting donations for the cause every night until the rest of December.

The neurodegenerative disease affected both his mother and grandmother before they died, he told the news outlet.

A good cause and beer? It’s a match made in holiday heaven.

BONUS: Enjoy draft beer anywhere with this portable tap


11 Tiny Things Guys Who Are Actually Into You Will Do Differently

The beginning of datingis like a wildlife safari. Byyour third expedition (date), you’re probably on the lookout for the rare sighting that is an indication thatbae actually likes you as a human woman, and not just a person to play Hide The Salami with.

When you are crushing onthe guy you’re seeing, of course you want to know if he’s into you, too. It’s smart toinvest your feels wisely. If you’re wondering, Does he like me? know that there some thingsguys who are actually into you will do differently.

It can be hard to tell, and the reality is that everyone shows their feelings differently. If I dig someone, I willwalk the other way if I see them on the street. (Very counterproductive; not recommended.)The rare prize a guy who’s truly into you might show his interest in some very tiny ways.

As always, the men of Reddit had some honest input on the matter. Elite Daily also spoke to dating expert Eric Resnickfor some additional tips. Here are 11 tiny things guys who are actually into you will do differently.

1.Make An Excuse To See You Multiple Days In A Row

When you like someone, you want to spend as much time with them as possible, right? Guys are exactly the same. Even commitment phobes will eventually make an effort to spend more than one day in a row with you if they really like you.

Resnick explains that a guy who likes you will be more interested in seeing you again than getting you in bed that night. Maybe he goes old school and leaves his watch at your place, or maybe he mentions he’s in the neighborhood tomorrow for a dentist appointment.

If he’s texting you once a week and that’s it? He’s probably justnot that into you.

2. Text You To Make Sure You Got Home Safe

Being a gentleman takes, you know? In my experience,the dudes who took the sevenseconds to check in to make sure I got home safe post-date werethe ones who stuck around for a while.

If you arrive home to a concise, adorable home safe? text,he cares about you and wants to be sure you didn’t get murdered. He’s a keeper.

3. Tease You For Your Taste In Beer

Or your taste in movies. Or your inability to handle spicy foods. As long as they are not actually being mean, if a guy is teasing you, he probably has a crush on you. This guy on Reddit confirms that when he likes someone, he will:

Tease her


Middle school flirting lives. Take note.

4. Ignore TwitterAnd Work Emails

Resnick says that a major sign that a guy is actually into you is that he will simply put his phone down and focus on you. Even if he’s a secret agent for the CIA, if he’s into you, he wants to look at you, talk to you, and connect with you more than he wants to connect with his suggested connections on LinkedIn.

When a guy keeps his phone down and doesn’t whip it out the second he goes to the bathroom, he’s into you.

5. Let You Have The Last Piece Of Sashimi

Being offered that lone piece of salmon sashimi left on our sushi boat is my favorite kind of gentlemanly gesture.

Early on in dating, if he offers you the last bite, he’s a guy with nice manners who might just want to F you. On date 15though,when you are more comfortable with each otherand he still gives you dibs, he cares about seeing you smile. He’s into it, and you should be, too.

6. Look To Your Reaction After Making A Joke

This is very real. If a guy is into you, when he cracks a joke or mentions a cool new job he is interviewing for and then immediately looks to see what your reaction is, he cares about your opinion of him.

Most people glance at the person they like after telling a joke or hearing something funny to see their reaction.

So that.


If a guy cares about your opinion ofhim, heprobably likes and respects you. Watch his eyeline (but not in a creepy way).

7. Accidentally Like Your Instagram From 2014

When you get a like notification from aturner94 on a Hefe-filtered photo with approximately 12likes from before you even knew how to use Instagram, and then you check and it’s disappeared, he was checking you out. This is not creepy let’s face it, we’ve all done it but it’s definitely a sign that he wants to learn more about you.

Don’t call him out on this super cute oopsie. He’ll be mortified.

8. Get Super AwkwardOut Of Nowhere

Middle school is a recurring theme here. Those butterflies are real and guys feel them, too. This guy was very honest about how he feels around women he is actually into:

Try to awkwardly chat with her, making her think I am slightly mentally disabled.


I’m not suggesting your date needs to start speaking in tongues at dinner, or lose his balance on the way to the bathroom, but if you notice some shy, nervous, rapid-fire question asking on his part, he might just be feeling all of the feels. Adorable AF.

9. Not Look Directly Into Your Eyes

Sounds backwards, right? If hereally likes you, doesn’t he want to get lost in your big beautiful eyeballs? Not necessarily. Early on, he might feel intimidated by making direct eye contact. Looking into each others eyes is as intimate as it gets. This guy put it perfectly, when he likes someone he will:

Look down, and to the left. Like I’m trying to remember the phone number I haven’t used in 20 years.


I do this, too.Crushes turn us into little kids, andit makes my heart melt like an ice cream cone in August.

10. Introduce You To His Friends

OK, so this isn’t necessarily a thing, but it’s a surefire sign that bae is actually into you. Bro-cults are very sacred, and cannot be broken up by a female sorceress who’s going to stealone of the crew on Saturdays (which, obviously, are for the boys). If he’s introducing you to his pals, he likes you.

This means that he wants his friends’ opinion on you, which is a solid indicator that he’s really interested, says Resnick.

11. Get Real With You

Some men are open and share all of their family history and feelings off the bat; others are more guarded with those things. Either way, if your dude is dropping his swag and letting you in, he likes you.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys start off trying to seem a little elusive at first. It’s one part power play and one part fear of looking too needy, says Resnick. When he actually likes you, he’ll drop that wall. He’ll usually respond to texts faster, and he’ll show more interest in your life and being a part of it.

The little hints that mean the guy you are dating is really into you might look different than what I listed above. My biggest advice is: Don’t overanalyze.If a guy likes you, you’ll know.

All of this adorableness really makes me want to find a new crush and feel all of the butterflies, so I’m going to go do that. Keep crushing it, ladies.


Kelsey Grammer reflects on ‘The Last Tycoon’ and ‘Frasier’: ‘I need to work’

Kelsey Grammer has zero plans to slow down anytime soon.

The 62-year-old actor is starring in a new series on Amazon titled The Last Tycoon, a drama based on F. Scott Fitzgeralds final unfinished novel, as movie studio boss Pat Brady, who was modeled after real-life ruthless mogul Louis B. Mayer.

And while stepping back in time to the 1930s alongside co-stars Matt Bomer and Lily Collins should keep Grammar busy, hes also embarking on making his London stage debut later this year, performing at LA Opera early next year and launching his own brewery within two months. If thats not enough, the proud parent welcomed his seventh child in 2016.

In 1930’s Hollywood, the real story is behind the scenes. Stream #TheLastTycoon 7/28 on Prime Video.

A post shared by The Last Tycoon (@lasttycoontv) on Jul 21, 2017 at 10:01am PDT

Fox News spoke with Grammer about The Last Tycoon, his lasting success, and whether fans can expect a “Frasier” reunion:

Fox News: What was it about The Last Tycoon and your character Pat Brady that drew you in as an actor?
Kelsey Grammer: The first thing that always draws me in is when somebody offers me a job. Then, I take the time to actually read the script. Which, after upon reading it, I actually thought it was pretty good. I thought that Pat showed real potential in terms of where he might go.

I liked what seemed to be this guy whos struggling with who he is at his core and who he has to be in order to survive. Billy and I talked about where the character might be headed and the sort of thing that was going to be happening. And I thought this is something I can play. Something exactly I havent played before, which is always part of my criteria in choosing a role.

Fox News: How was it working with Lily Collins?
Grammer: Oh, shes great! I love Lily. Shes wonderful, available, shes got the chops. Shes a young woman with substance. I enjoyed working with her. And its fun for her to play my daughter.

Fox News: In one interview, you said that while the both of you were getting ready to shoot, her fathers [Phil Collins] music would suddenly play in your mind.
Grammer: Yeah, I told her that about a couple of shows in. I said, You know, its funny. Whenever you sit down, I can hear one of your dads tunes. And they vary! His contributions to music is so substantial. So its hard not to think of something I fell in love with that I listened to in the last 20-30 years. Hes just fantastic.

Fox News: Youve had lasting success in television. How does it feel to embark on a new show?
Grammer: Well, you know, Ive had some luck with a couple. Ive had less luck with others. Writers strikes, networks have their own ideas — that sort of thing has happened a few times. I just like working, you know? I like trying new stuff. Thats what keeps me going, really. I like to work. And I need to work. Ive got a big family. But other than that, its what I do. So it feels great.

Kelsey Grammer & @treveinhorn are all smiles on the set of #TheLastTycoon : @treveinhorn

A post shared by The Last Tycoon (@lasttycoontv) on Mar 29, 2017 at 9:59am PDT

Fox News: Does it ever get tiring for you to still be recognized as Dr. Frasier Crane?
Grammer: No, no. Listen, I would be a fool if I took umbrage with that. He was a wonderful character. Frasier Crane is a wonderful character. He was fun to play, brought me great success, brought me great financial reward, and honestly, an enormous amount of satisfaction in having helped so many people.

The number of people that come up to me are never aggressive or unhappy. Theyre always smiling and thankful and grateful for the work. And then of course, there are others who paid more attention to the show and had a little more understanding on some of the drama. So, its just a career. Ive been at it for a long time. And it would be indecorous of me to take issue with the fact that Im recognized for Frasier. Its a great character.

Fox News: Do you stay in touch with your former cast mates?
Grammer: You know, I see them when I can. I see Jane [Leeves] and Peri [Gilpin] quite a bit. John and I havent been in touch lately, but you know, we try to connect as often as we can. And David [Hyde Pierce], of course, is in New York. If I get a chance, Ill go see him in Hello, Dolly! But we do stay in touch when we can.

Fox News: In this era of reboots, can we expect a Frasier reunion in the future?
Grammer: No chance yet. But you never know!

Fox News: Youre also going to be making your London stage debut and then later join the Los Angeles Opera. What keeps you going as such a busy actor?
Grammer: …I just love to try some new stuff. I mean, when people come and say, Would you like to go be on stage, be in the LA opera and maybe just make a quick trip to the moon? Im ready and available!

Fox News: With so many projects keeping you busy, how do you find that balance of being an on-the-go actor, all while being a hands-on father?
Grammer: The kids come first. Thats all. I mean, with the job I have to make sure I fulfil my obligations, but whenever I have any kind of break whatsoever, Im with the kids. Thats just the way it is. They trump everything. I do have to work and theyre aware of that, but I try to keep them as involved as possible and with me wherever I go. Thats just the way it is. Thats my priority.

Fox News: Youre also launching your own brewery.
Grammer: Yes! Thats really been a passion for me over the last 25 years up here in upstate New York, in the Catskills. Ive always wanted to see this land make a comeback and return to prosperity. I thought this was the best way to do it. Im not a dairy farmer I think I can manage a brewery. And thats what were working on. Were very excited about it and the beer is very wonderful. Im very happy.

Fox News: When did you originally come up with the idea?
Grammer: Well, several years ago. Ive been sort of circling this property for a long time and I just wanted to make it useful again. We decided on the brewery and [working with] people who are as equally passionate about it and its a very cool thing. Were turning an old dairy farm into the brewery. We had a lot of hoops to go through but its worth the fight. Faith American Ale will be out in the next two months. So we got that coming. And its really good so were rooting for it.

Fox News: And just to be clear, no sherry, right?
Grammer: No sherry. Thats very cute! “Sherry, Niles?”


The 9 Fights You’ll Definitely Have With Your SO When You Move In Together

This summer, I purchased my first home with my fiance. Wed lived together in my parents home for several months, so we figured having a place to ourselves wouldnt be much of a transition.

I mean, we already lived together. We were going to be like two sexy little peas in a very overpriced pod! Except we werent. At least, not exactly.

Once its just the two of you, things do indeed change. By moving in with your partner, youre assuming the roles of husband and wife. But instead of being married to each other, youre mutually committed to this one, very expensive house thatll take the majority of your lives to pay off.

With such high stakes, theres a lot to gain and lose when you do finally move in. And as any couple whos ever lived together knows, you will find yourselves having a number of standard arguments over and over again.

Most of these arguments have no merit and brew from outside sources, but your partner gets the brunt of it because theyre, well, there. So lets get started on these arguments, shall we?

1.The conflict of the light switch.

Because I always grew up with pets, when I would leave the house, Id always leave the TV on for them so theyd feel less alone.

Since weve only had the house for a few months, I continue to leave the TV on when I leave. This INFURIATES my fiance, who, as soon as I step in the house, scolds me as if I were being reprimanded by a teacher in grade school.

Id then daftly counter with, Well, Im the one paying the electricity bill, so why do you care? and, as Im sure you can imagine, a whole other argument ensues.

2. Bills, bills, bills.

Money will always be a subject of contention for couples. Always.

Whenyou move in with somebody, you marry each other financially, so this contention can grow. Add to the fact that youre absolutely astounded by the amount of money youre now spending on bills that used to be spent on beer and just beer.

As such, your money becomes their money and vice versa. Your spending affects them and their spending affects you.

I should add here that bills arent often the source of an argument (at least in our home), but are instead used as a last line of defense in an argument.

For instance, if you pay the majority of the bills, you will undoubtedly use this against your partner when verbally backed into a corner. Its not a smart thing to do, but like I said, its a last line of defense. Its all youve got.

3. Settling on TV shows.

Im fortunate that my fiance and I like watching the same shows, but there are moments when we disagree and a lukewarm argument ensues.

For instance, I know my fiance doesnt want to watch a show when she innocently asks: Whats this? or What are you watching?

Knowing this is her method to vocalize her distaste for whatevers on, I surrender by delicately placing the converter on her lap, where shell then switch it over to The Food Network.

4. Accusations of ones laziness.

Since I work from home, my fiance likes to think I have the day to sweep the floors, do the laundry, fold the laundry and otherwise ensure the house is spotless.

To her, Im Cinderella with a laptop who writes the occasional boner joke in a Word document.

On the other hand, when my fiance comes home mid-afternoon, shell sit on the couch and eat a can of chickpeas, warm up some tomato soup and not do much else.

To be fair, she works as a baker and wakes up at 4 am, but when Im being accused of laziness, the claws comeoutand nobody is safe. Well poke at each other, accusing the other of being lazy, until an actual argument follows.

What you ultimately realize is that anyone can be accused of being lazy with the right argument.

5. The terrible, deplorable saga that is laundry.

Laundry. FUCKING LAUNDRY. Without a doubt, the worst chore of all chores.

While neither of us has any problem throwing a load in the washer or dryer, its the folding and hanging thats a pain in the ass.

There have been a few times where Ive washed, dried and folded the laundry, have gotten fed up and asked that she hang the laundry in the closet. This is where our arguments will usually begin.

Her side: Why not finish the deed yourself? Youre already 80 percent there. Mine: Ive done most of the work, just help me!

Conclusion: Laundry doesnt get hung but instead sits on the floor in a spare room.

6. Compromising on bedtime activities.

Because my fiance wakes up so early and I dont have a dedicated start time, our bedtime schedules are very different.

Though weve each compromised, we discovered many things about each other, such as: I like to watch TV in the bedroom; she doesnt. I like having a fan on in the room; she doesnt. She likes body contact; I dont. And so on.

I know were not alone on this one. I just know it.

7. Doing the dishes.

I actually dont hate doing the dishes. I really dont. I mean, I dont love it, but in terms of chores, its really not so bad.

I should add here that we dont have a dishwasher, so Ive kind of assumed this role myself. If you do have one and complain, youve got no foot to stand on. Im sorry, you just dont.

Like Ive mentioned, my fiances a baker and loves to bake at any and every given opportunity, so the dishes are seemingly endless.

I should also add that shes vegan and Im not, so to make sure that no animal product comes in contact with her food, our dishes are pretty much doubled.

When the dishes start piling on themselves, forming a steel volcano about to erupt with vanilla cupcake batter, Ill admit I get frustrated. Cue argument.

8. Whoever does the cooking holds all the power.

Like paying the bills, the person who cooks in the household will always highlight this fact when theyve got no other form of defense in an argument.

Its like a verbal stun gun: You bring it up, deliver the blinding impact that is your own pettiness and flee the argument hoping theyve got no retort.

9. Understanding that a womans beauty takes time.

Before living together, all Id see was my fiance walking down her driveway looking sexy and flawless.

Now that we live together, I understand that before she worked that driveway like a runway, she spent several hours doing her hair and makeup. Tack on another hour for the outfit.

Now that we live together, this becomes less flattering and more frustrating.

Here you are, all dressed, car keys in hand and should have left 10 minutes ago. But there she is, the love of your life, teasing her hair in her underwear with a glass of wine on the counter.

Like, come on. WEVE GOTTA GO!

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Silicon Valley workers get a boost in the housing market

Tech employees in Silicon Valley can get zero-down home loans, giving a boost in a competitive housing market.
Image: De Agostini/Getty Images

Tech employees already get free food, free dry cleaning and free beer. Now, they also get deals on housing.

New hires at Google and other Silicon Valley companies are often offered home loans with no money down and a host of other financial planning services, Bloomberg reported this week.

The help for tech employees buying houses, of course, is taking place in one of the least affordable and most competitive housing markets in the country.

And if people in the tech industry need this much help buying a home, it’s hard to fathom how difficult it must be for everyone else.

“Basically what this does is add more competition to an already stressed housing market,” said Peter Cohen, the co-director of San Francisco’s Council of Community Housing Organizations, an affordable housing group. “These are buyers who have a leg up. They’re able to outcompete other folks looking for housing who don’t have that kind of advantage.”

The loans, targeted toward Silicon Valley workers, finance homes at 100 percent with no money down. Through the San Francisco Federal Credit Union, homes valued up to $2 million are eligible. The median home value in the area is just above $1 million.

It’s an interesting approach to a problem that affects Silicon Valley workers as well as employees in other industries. Not only is the Bay Area housing market expensive, there just isn’t enough housing to go around. Even high earners in the tech industry have trouble buying a home amid intense competition and down payments of $200,000.

“The whole thing highlights how crazy a housing market we have,” said Kevin Zwick, the CEO of Housing Trust Silicon Valley, which provides loans and grants to help first-time home-buyers with down payments. “Without more homes for people at all income levels, tech companies and others have to move to pretty out-of-the-box thinking like this, offering programs that are hard to replicate for working families.”

Housing Trust Silicon Valley gives down payment loans for those first-time homebuyers in need of affordable housing, a category defined as a family of four making up to $120,000. Many of the Bay Area homebuyers who take advantage of its programs are teachers, public employees, nurses and even some tech workers on the lower end of the income spectrum.

For those buyers, a zero-down loan like the ones available to new Google employees might not even be a solution to their problems in the housing market. Zwick said he encourages all home buyers in the income brackets he works with to put money down on a home to provide a measure of stability in case of a layoff or dip in housing prices.

That’s generally solid advice for anyone, but some higher-income homebuyers might have other cash reserves to protect them from swings in the economy, making a zero-down mortgage a less risky proposition.

Despite the question of their actual benefit, these loans are an option available to only certain buyers. Even if a new Silicon Valley transplant doesn’t choose to go with one of these tailored loans, the choice is there in a way that isn’t extended to, for instance, teachers and nurses also trying to buy homes in the area.

“It’s a competitive advantage,” Cohen said.

And until San Francisco, Silicon Valley and even tech companies build more homes for both buyers and renters, it’s an advantage, and a problem, that won’t go away.